On My Own
by Argand the Cookie Monster
Summary: Yet another songfic, "On My Own", from Les Miserables. As can be expected, ColConnie-ness!


**I'm back! I'm supposed to be studying for SATs, but I've been advised to just do something besides SAT prep for the week before I take them. Well, its two weeks in advance, but I'm not going to complain about that.**

**I've discovered that I like doing songfics. So, I'm making an effort to do them more. I need more songs, though. Have any suggestions? Anyway, this one is "On My Own" from Les Miserables (my favorite musical of the minute, I change practically ever minute, at least. This musical has lasted for just about three years.). Col and Connie fluffiness!**

**~Argand the Great and Terrible! =D**

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_And now I'm all alone again  
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to.  
Without a home, without a friend  
without a face to say hello to  
But now the night is near  
And I can make-believe he's here_

* * *

Connie stared drearily out the window. She felt so alone, so abandoned. Connie, even as special as being a universal made her, felt so disliked, so feared, rather than loved. Sure, there were some people who liked her. Evelyn, Anneena, Jane, Rat, Col… Col….

Connie sighed. Yet again, she came back to THAT name. Connie saw no point in hiding it from herself. She had admitted to herself long ago that she liked him. But, did HE like her? Did he admit that to himself, if only he did like her? Would he admit it to anyone, if, in that highly unlikely situation, he did like her?

Connie sighed once more. There was no point in wondering "What if...?" at the moment. Col was gone on a trip with his grandmother, and she hadn't yet received one letter from him. Anneena, too, was gone, at her sister's wedding. Jane's family had decided to stay at Jane's aunt's house, in another state, for the summer. Evelyn was there, but the banshees were causing a ruckus, and Evelyn ended up spending much time taming them. Even her Uncle Hugh had to go and leave for some boat.

* * *

_Sometimes I walk alone at night  
When everybody else is sleeping  
I think of him and then I'm happy  
With the company I'm keeping  
The city goes to bed  
And I can live inside my head_

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Connie wandered around at night, content just to go and see Sentinel, who would always find some time to just sit with her, quietly, knowing exactly what was bothering her. Connie daydreamed, of Col. Her eyes twinkled softly as she pictured his every detail. Connie often fell asleep out there, but no one was around enough to do anything but merely scold her gently.

* * *

_On my own  
Pretending he's beside me  
All alone  
I walk with him 'til morning  
Without him, I feel his arms around me  
And when I lose my way, I close my eyes and he has found me_

_In the rain  
The pavement shines like silver  
All the lights are misty in the river  
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight  
And all I see is him and me forever and forever_  


* * *

Connie was in a daze throughout the night, just fantasizing things Col might say, dreaming about him confessing actual love…

* * *

_  
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_And I know it's only in my mind  
That I'm talking to myself and not to him  
And although I know that he is blind  
Still I say there's a way for us_  


* * *

"What am I thinking?" Connie asked herself one night, with Sentinel was not there. "He'll never like me, Connie, with the dangerous job of Universal, with the untidy mop of black hair, with those mismatched eyes, with… nothing interesting or attractive. Still… It's nice to dream… If only for a while…"

* * *

_I love him  
But when the night is over  
He is gone  
The river's just a river  
Without him, the world around me changes  
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers_

_I love him  
But every day I'm lonely  
All my life I've only been pretending  
Without me, his world will go on turning  
The world is full of happiness that I have never known_

* * *

"Love you, Col." Connie whispered to the rustling trees as she turned to leave. "With all my heart."

Connie shivered, and walked back towards her house, her head drooping, her eyes downcast, her feet shuffling, her heart sinking.  


* * *

_  
_

_I love him  
I love him  
I love him...  
But only on my own..._

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**I'm not thrilled with this one…. It's a little… dry… compared to what I usually can do. And short. I need more ideas, I'm running out of creativeness…… I need chocolate! Chocolate'll help!  
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**Once I get a good idea (and chocolate) I'll write again. Good ideas can take awhile to come… Unless you help come up with a song or a good plot…? –nudge- -nudge- Getting the hint? =D **


End file.
